Thursday, May 29, 2008

Questions about the Dog

I’ve gotten a lot of quesitons about the dog and I thought it’d be easier to answer all of them at once.

I don’t understand; you’re such a savagely macho person. How can you be content with a little fluff dog? Don’t you need something that more nearly accords with your inner nature? Like a dingo?
Ideally, yes. But:
a) We live in a big city
b) We live in an apartment
c) We have no yard
d) I don’t have the time to attend to a larger animal.

MAN he is cute. Is it legal for a living being to be that cute?
It is in Moldova. I can’t go into more details, but let’s just say that if the Animal INS comes calling, we’re in trouble.

Are you going to turn into one of those pet people?
What the hell is that supposed to mean?

You know—who talks about their pets all the time? And shows everyone they meet pictures of their pet?
First of all, we don’t meet anybody to talk to. Or show pictures to. So it’s really moot.

But, no, I think we’re going to be restrained and even-keeled about the new puppy (“Untitled.”) Aside from getting his face tattooed on my back. And making muffins using a mold we make from his body shape, and eating them every morning, and calling them “Doggy Bites.” And changing our wills so he inherits all our possessions.

Any good name ideas?

Our friend, Incremental, says that you have to meet the dog and divine his internal essence before you can name him. That will be next week. More reports to follow.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Ecco The Dog

That's him--our new dog. At least he will be if all goes according to plan. We pick him up on June 1. And then, as you would assume, start to train him to herd sheep. And, if we have time, to rescue mountaineers. I also have an idea that we might be able to lease him to a movie studio, for shots when they need a trained killer attack dog, but that's still working itself out.

Savage-looking, isn't he?

He's a Maltese. Right now, we don't have a name. So if anyone has any good ideas (GOOD IDEAS, Johannes), please--send them along.

By the way, "Xerxes" is already out. I tried, but the wife's anti-Persian bias pretty much makes that impossible.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Philip, Wake Up

I keep thinking about this scene. It's from Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Bowie does a Southern accent and sheds light (sort of) on some of the lingering mysteries of the series. My favorite line--the one that made me think of this in the first place--was with me when I woke up today. "I've BEEN to one of their meetings!"