Well the new season is upon us. Another five months of beer commercials, injury reports, and Chris Berman. I feel the fear upon me.
Like all subjects about which I know very little, football is one on which I have a myriad of strongly-held, often conflicting opinions. Since I know none of you will sleep tonight unless you can find out what I think about PacMan Jones, I've taken time out of my busy Chemistry Memorization Schedule, to set down some of my sure-to-be-proved right predictions about the upcoming season.*
1. The Titans will give up on Vince Young. This will be his last year in the NFL as a starting quarterback. All those people who made so much noise about how the Texans should have drafted Young out of college will send me personal letters of apology, agreeing with my forecast (made at the time) that he would amount to a big-time bust.
2. The Falcons will cover the spread more often than not. They will win at least 6 games.
3. The Eagles will not make the playoffs. Westbrook and McNabb will each miss at least 6 games due to injuries.
4. The Steelers will be really really good. (I know: they're always good. I didn't say these were BOLD predictions. GET OFF MY DAMN CASE).
5. Jake Delhomme is done.
6. PacMan Jones will actually live up to his promises, not get arrested, and help his team.
7. The Browns will not make the playoffs. They will also have two different players get in trouble with the law. (Or, as we say here on the West Coast, "the po-pos.")
*This post was written on Saturday, a day before the season began. So if some of the predictions already look stupid--that's why.